And I feel different now

from 10/13/25

And I feel different now

and it’s hard to name it all

but it feels good

and different,

significantly

One way I would describe it

is that it feels as though

most of my movement

is deliberate,

deliberately mine,

and not a response

or reaction

to that which is outside of

or beyond me,

and this feels like

much of the time

I’m moving in slow motion

Maybe everything is moving more slowly

or I’m simply moving slower

through everything

Maybe it’s a new kind of presence,

an accepting of an invitation

and each one after

into the moment and

the space

directly around me,

and maybe it won’t last,

but I don’t want to think like that,

like I’ve tended to think

in the past,

I just want it to go on

as I go slowly with it,

like moving through water,

my feet and legs

and hands and arms,

my thinking

and feeling,

my breathing,

paced and deliberate

and rare in my life

but beautiful

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